The First Time My Heart Opened.

You may find yourself Waking Up in the strangest places...

Taken from Telegram, March 11 2021

I don't usually share personal stuff, but I heard this record today and it reminded me of a moment I consider important in my development, so I'll share it with you guys.

You might have a similar experience - if so, I’d love to hear about it in the comments below…

In the late 90's I had the good fortune to work for Virgin Records in Beverly Hills in Artist Development/Promotion (when there was such a thing). I got to meet and work with legends like Lenny Kravitz, John Lee Hooker, Blur, Isaac Hayes, The Rolling Stones, Janet Jackson and in the case of this story, Daft Punk.

Having said that, part of the gig was assembling and overseeing what we then called "street marketing" campaigns for the bands; mostly college kids, placing tour posters in windows of coffee houses, handbills in the record stores, etc in the Top 25 US Markets. Old-school, but effective.

When Daft Punk announced a handful of US dates to promote their first album, "Homework", I was beyond geeked when a Los Angeles date (at the legendary & gorgeous Mayan Theatre) was on the short list.  I had been a DJ since 1989, and was a big fan of what was then called "French House", the sound Daft Punk would go on to perfect.

Working for the label meant the standard "guest list/backstage pass", but this pass came with zero chance of meeting them.  A big part of their persona was based around not showing their faces, although hardcore fans already knew who they were.

The band committed heavily to the shows, even bringing over a custom sound system from their home country of France.  Getting to the venue several hours in advance for meetings, I got to hang out in the balcony and watch them not only set it up, but sound check it.

I was expecting to hear "Around The World" (their big "hit") for soundcheck.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

The head sound engineer played Tracy Chapman's "Fast Car".

I had heard this simple song 1,000x before.  I knew the words; I'd heard it that many times.

But that afternoon, played over (arguably) one of the best sound systems anyone will ever have the pleasure of experiencing, "Fast Car" became something deeper.  Especially because the sound engineer used the song as his test song - meaning he would play it, and make changes to the soundboard.

Then, he would play it again and make more changes.

Then, he would play it again.

And again.

And again.

I didn't mind.  As a DJ, you get used to hearing songs over and over again.  Some would have found this to be sonic torture.  Me, I didn't mind.  It was an amazing song, on an amazing sound system.

Finally, my meetings ended, and it was just me, in the balcony with no one around. I felt lucky to be a fly on the wall, anonymous near the top row.

You should know, if you push me to do it, I will sing.  Not a pro, but I can do well enough at karaoke that no one throws rotten fruit.  Sitting there in the balcony of The Mayan by myself, hearing "Fast Car" for what had to have been the 17th time;), I decided to sing along the next time it started over.

She starts hopeful.

"You got a fast car
I got a plan to get us out of here
I been working at the convenience store
Managed to save just a little bit of money
Won't have to drive too far
Just 'cross the border and into the city
You and I can both get jobs
And finally see what it means to be living..."

As the song progresses, the hope fades and reality pokes it head out...

You got a fast car
I got a job that pays all our bills
You stay out drinking late at the bar
See more of your friends than you do of your kids
I'd always hoped for better
Thought maybe together you and me would find it
I got no plans I ain't going nowhere
So take your fast car and keep on driving.."

I knew the words, but hadn't really put them together before in the progression Tracy wrote them.  There, alone in the balcony of The Mayan, I understood she was telling a story, while before I had just been hearing words & notes and missing the feeling of it.

She was telling me a story and giving a voice to a story that so many are silently living - a story of desperation, and becoming swallowed by our own limitations.

By the end of the song, any mystique/charm the "Fast Car" guy had was long gone.

"You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so you can fly away?
You gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way..."

Alone in the balcony of The Mayan Theater in downtown Los Angeles, I burst out crying. At first, on the surface, I had no idea why.

I had always "felt things" more strongly than others, but this one hit differently.  It's like the song, after a dozen +  plays, finally burrowed into the center of my heart, and opened it.  I understood the plight of the song's character, and felt not only their sense of hope, but also felt their hopelessness.

I wept quietly in the balcony of an empty theater, not only for the song's character, not only for myself, but what felt like for all of us.  It was a release, a purge and the first of what would become unexplainable emotional & spiritual experiences I would have in the coming 20+ years.

Looking back, I believe it was the very first time my heart opened.

#TheGreatAwakening 
———
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